Relationship Health Stock Take


A Relationship Health Stock Take is just as it sounds.   It is a process of thinking through important relationships to think about which need attention and why.

To use a gardening idea:  A Relationship Health Stock Take is a bit like looking after a garden.  It is normal for weeds to grow in gardens but when we pay regular attention we can clear things up regularly.  Sometimes however we can get distracted and can neglect our relationship garden and then weeds can start to grow and get so tall and straggly that it is no longer possible to see the beautiful plants and flowers that are getting overwhelmed.    So we need to do this process regularly.  

When we keep our relationship health looked after then we benefit and so do those around us.

So let's jump in


TRY THIS STOCK TAKE ACTIVITY

To get a window on our current relationship network health we take the following steps:

Step 1: 
Write a list of 6 key relationships.  These should be people that are most important to you or that you spend most time with. 

Step 2
Now try to rate the relationships you have with these key people using the following images and scores

Old Empty Sweet Wrapper 0ESW = 0
Unhealthy, neglected relationship, Nothing happening here right now

Sherbert Bonbon SB = 1
Nice flavoured relationship with some fun moments

Sticky Toffee ST = 2
Interesting relationship but chewing needed and bits can get stuck in your teeth and so needs real focus 

Hot Chilli Pepper HCP = 3
Unhealthy really challenging, escalated and a bit scary relationship - demands a lot of attention


RELATIONSHIP HEALTH QUICK STOCK TAKE

Think of 6 Key Relationships:

Name.......................................Date............................

Add the initials of 6 Important Relationships

What sweet do you rate them as?

Relationship 1: with your child .......
(choose the child that is most challenging for you)

____________

Relationship 2: with partner  .....

____________

Relationship 3: with a parent..... 
(choose the relationship that is most helpful)

____________

Relationship 4: wider family .....
(choose the relationship that is most helpful for you)

____________

Relationship 5: work or community ....
(choose the one that is most helpful for you)


____________

Relationship 6 ..You with You ....
(choose the sweet that best represents your relationship the majority of the time)

____________

TOTAL:

____________


KEY:   RELATIONSHIP HEALTH STOCK TAKE
The scores can vary between 0 and 18

 
 4-7   Relationships Seem Healthy: ++             
Group 1                  

  8-11   Something needs attention:                      Group 2   
  0-3     Something needs attention:                      Group 2 
 12-18  Some very significant concerns:              Group 3

++ No one score less than one or more than 3

If your relationship network has scored as healthy then congratulations.  Healthy relationship networks support the long term wellbeing of you and of children and adults.  Networks help you and others to overcome  challenges.   

If your relationship network has scored as needing attention or as unhealthy, the most important thing that you can do is to take action in order to learn what you need to learn to move things on so that greater health and safety can be restored.  Prioritising the health of relationships in your wider network is particularly important if you are caring child has some additional challenges.   Instead of looking for experts or for others to take action, you must start with equipping yourself to focus on what is happening at home.

Copyright: All Rights Reserved:  CBetoin 2020

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION 
ON THE SELF-ASSESSMENT


Very surprisingly, in the area of adult and child well-being, relationship health and the skills involved in relationships are a key central issue that too often gets overlooked in the context of professional consultations about children's mental health and well-being.


In I Matter Professional Practice we use a more complex version of the above tool (known as the I Matter Q) to explore the health of relationships. We use this detailed assessment to guide the advice and recommendations so that improved health can be restored.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT I MATTER PRACTICE CLICK HERE

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Dr. Cathy Betoin - Relationship Health Matters

Dr Cathy Betoin
Clinical Psychologist, Teacher, Parent

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