Relationship Health Assessment
6 Quick Questions
A Relationship Health Assessment is just as it sounds. It is an assessment that sets out to understand whether a relationship is functioning in a manner that best serves the mental and physical health and well-being of those involved..
So let's jump in
Think about a relationship that matters to you.
It could be with a child (aged 3 or more), or with an adult, or with yourself.
RELATIONSHIP HEALTH QUICK SELF ASSESSMENT
Think of Your Focus Relationship:
Name.......................................Date............................
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Part 1: |
Yes = 2, |
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1. Do you spend relaxed times hanging out together feeling connected? |
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2.Do you work together on simple shared tasks and activities? |
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3.When there are conflicts do you talk things through readily to find solutions? |
____________ |
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Quick Relationship Health Indicators Subtotal |
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Part 2: |
Yes = -2, |
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4. Is there aggression or violence in this relationship? |
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5.Is the behaviour of one highly controlling of the behaviour of the other? |
____________ |
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6. Is there abusive or disrespectful language used towards the other in this relationship? |
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Quick Relationship Ill-Health Indicators - Subtotal |
____________ |
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Now add the health and the ill-health subtotals together |
Part 1 + Part 2 |
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TOTAL RELATIONSHIP HEALTH SCORE |
TOTAL ____________ |
KEY: TOTAL RELATIONSHIP HEALTH SCORE
The scores can vary between +6 and -6
6 Seems like a healthy relationship: Group 1
5 Something needs a bit of attention: Group 1/2
3-4 Some significant concerns: Group 2
-6-2 Some very significant concerns: Group 3
If your relationship has scored as healthy then congratulations. Healthy relationships support the long term wellbeing of children and adults and help them overcome their challenges.
If your relationship has scored as unhealthy, the most important thing that you can do is to take action in order to learn what you need to learn to move things on so that greater health and safety can be restored. Prioritising this is particularly important if your child has some additional challenges. Instead of looking for experts or for others to take action, you must start with equipping yourself to focus on what is happening at home.
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ON THE SELF-ASSESSMENT
Very surprisingly, in the area of adult and child well-being, relationship health and the skills involved in relationships are a key central issue that too often gets overlooked in the context of professional consultations about children's mental health and well-being.
Instead a great deal of time and energy and resources gets focussed on trying to establish whether there are problems or disorders in the individual child or adult.
The problem with the hunt for disorders or problems in the individual child is that in overlooking some very important details in the relationship itself. this hunt can often takes us away from where we want and need to go.
In I Matter Professional Practice we use a more complex version of the above tool (known as the I Matter Q) to explore the health of relationships. We use this detailed assessment to guide the advice and recommendations so that improved health can be restored.
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Dr Cathy Betoin
Clinical Psychologist, Teacher, Parent
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