So how do you know whether the difficulties you are observing or experiencing are because of something wrong with your child... or with your partner... or with you...
Or whether the difficulties are present because there is a relationship health need?
Or whether its a bit of both?
As a useful rule of thumb if you are currently looking for answers it will be useful to assume that when anxious and challenging behaviour exists there is more than one thing happening.
We often see:
+ Children and Young People presenting very differently at home than in school
+ A history of challenges that have gone back a long way
+ More difficulties with some family relationships than with others
But now here is a very key detail.
If the child or adult that you are concerned with is wired a bit differently or a bit more sensitive in their responses than other children, this is something you have no ability to change through any quick fix.
However, what you do have much more influence over is the health of your relationship with them. You can take the lead and be intentional about this but there is usually quite a lot of rethinking to do.
This issue of how change is going to happen is important because the research evidence is clear that the ONLY way for a sensitised brain based response to become less sensitive is for the child to experience strong healthy relationships with other caring adults.
When you see it like this, the only thing you need to focus on is on your understanding and skills.
Challenging at first
Therefore the prioirty need that you want from a diagnostic process is not fundamentally about a label instead what is needed is a step by step approach that focusses in on skills. You want a process that will first of all help you resolve the relationship health issues and then help you fine tune the details so that you can become most effective in helping your child.
Helping an anxious or challenging child or adults is an I Matter Journey
To learn about the Quick Relationship Health Self Assessment Package click here
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The Five Steps To Success with Anxious or Challenging Children!
Dr Cathy Betoin
Clinical Psychologist, Teacher, Parent
Dec 23, 20 03:54 PM
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